


Across the Universe

by stand_by_me



Series: Clack Week 2016 [1]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Gongaga is on the moon, It makes (more) sense in context, Multi, Post-Canon Fix-It, humor sprinkled throughout, on the weird metaphorical sundae that is this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:16:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7655173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stand_by_me/pseuds/stand_by_me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Don’t let the what-ifs hold you back, </i>his mom had said in her most recent letter.  <i>Don’t let any fears of what lies ahead keep you from finding happiness.  No matter where that search takes you.</i></p><p>And it took him far and wide - through the end of two worlds, the birth of a third, and across the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Across the Universe

**Author's Note:**

> I felt bad because this story is long, heavy, and jumps all over the place (literally) - but then I remembered Kingdom Hearts exists, so now I'm like "this is fine."

“What if I told you I wanted to go out with you? Not like Junon – I’m talking a real date,” Zack said, eyes earnest and hopeful.

Cloud’s breath caught in his throat, and the butterflies in his stomach seriously distracted from the situation in front of him. _Is this real? Does Zack really want to…date me? I never thought he felt the same way…_

“I get it if you don’t want to,” Zack continued, looking towards the other side of the hallway. “Mission schedules tend to get in the way of things…well, you know. I promise this isn’t like…a rebound date or anything. I swear, you’re half the reason Aerith broke up with me, she knows how much I like you—“

“Zack, slow down,” Cloud said, hoping he didn’t sound at all upset. He wasn’t upset – it was just a lot to take in. “I…what if I told you I’d say yes? In a heartbeat?” _Too far. That was too cliché_.

His friend’s face filled with joy, and Zack spun around, pushing his black spikes back. “You mean it? You really mean it?”

Cloud laughed and nodded, feeling lighter than he had in months, if still a little surprised. “Yes, I really do,” he said. “So where were you thinking?”

\---------------------------------

 _Don’t let the what-ifs hold you back_ , his mom had said in her most recent letter. _Don’t let any fears of what lies ahead keep you from finding happiness. No matter where that search takes you._

“Your mom sounds really smart,” Zack said when he read it, arm around Cloud’s waist. “Does she always talk like that?”

“Only when I need to hear it. Maybe I’ll be able to visit her one day,” Cloud said, leaning back into the embrace. “You could come with.”

“I’d love to,” Zack said, and Cloud knew he meant it.

A moment passed, a quiet and lovely one. From there on out, Cloud would know, _this is what contentment feels like_. Like a warm hug and a promise to keep.

“She makes really good sauerkraut,” Cloud said, thinking about the last time he’d had it. Two years and an exchange of dreams had brought him to this point. _I’ve changed, Mom…I think you’d be proud of me, though. If unhappy that I decided to stay here even after failing SOLDIER._

Zack snorted. “Compared to your cooking skills, anything counts as ‘really good.’”

“You’re one to talk, you can’t make anything other than breakfast!” Cloud protested, reaching back to tickle his ribs.

“But I’m basically the master of eggs,” Zack said jokingly, and Cloud laughed.

“Your résumé: Zack Fair, First Class SOLDIER and master of eggs.”

“Am I a first class boyfriend, too?”

Cloud considered how comfortable he was, how much he loved his life considering his position as infantry grunt, and made up his mind. “Yeah, you are.”

\---------------------------------

Another day, another daydream. Cloud was on patrol, thinking about how long it would be before his next meal, when there was a loud clash around the corner.

 _Shit, not right now, I’m not prepared to deal with this right now,_ he thought, moving towards the source of the sound with his rifle ready.

Someone grabbed his shoulders from behind, and Cloud reacted automatically, ducking down and elbowing his attacker between the ribs.

The resulting “oof” was very familiar, and Cloud spun around too see none other than his boyfriend.

“You hit harder than you used to, Spike,” Zack said proudly, rubbing the spot. “I think that’s gonna leave a bruise.”

“Why’d you sneak up on me like that?” Cloud asked, glad to see Zack but still irritated at the surprise.

“I’m hiding from Cissnei.”

“Who?”

“Never mind,” Zack said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Hey…um…what if I said I really wanted to kiss you right now?”

Part of Cloud really wanted to say _right now, really? While you’re busy and I’m working? And we could get caught and punished in the blink of an eye? No way._ The other part just wanted to shut up and go for it. The other part won.

Zack’s lips were soft and warm against his own, and Cloud felt like he was floating away on…well, a cloud. A very nice one at that.

“I’ll see you next weekend,” Cloud said softly when they were done.

“What? Why not _this_ weekend?” Zack asked, squeezing his shoulders in a plea for more.

“You’ve got scheduled leave in Costa, remember?” Cloud said, shaking his head.

“I could pull some strings, say you need some more field training,” Zack whispered, staying close. “Steal you away and never let you go…”

“There are already enough rumors,” Cloud said, knowing he was right but feeling bad for declining nonetheless. “We can be apart for a week and a half, it’s no big deal.”

\---------------------------------

Zack’s sheepish look when he sat down gave everything away. “What if I told you that...the Turks found out about us?”

“ _What_?” Cloud hissed. This was bad, this was really, really bad.

“I think it’ll be okay, Spike…the Turk who knows, she kind of has a thing for me. I don’t think she’d go and out us unless it was really important.”

 _Oh, Zack. My trusting, trusting Zack_. “I don’t like it, but I guess there’s nothing for it,” Cloud admitted. “I just hope it doesn’t go around…”

“You’re not…embarrassed by me, are you?” Zack asked, and Cloud regretted ever saying anything. _I wish this wasn’t another problem on our list_.

“Hell no,” he said. “It’s just that…if word got out, it would look like I was…you know…doing stuff with a superior to get ahead.”

Zack’s expression sobered, understanding. He’d always been gunning for First Class, but Cloud knew he’d never wanted the kind of power being second-in-command brought, especially under the circumstances. It probably felt like the world was resting on his boyfriend’s shoulders. “It won’t matter once you make SOLDIER,” Zack said, determined.

Cloud laughed, a bitter sound even to his own ears. “I’ve failed the physical how many times now? Four? I’ve managed to get better scores than everyone else in the test group, but they still reject me every time. I don’t think it’s happening.”

There was a moment of tense silence, and a mutual understanding that Zack knew why Cloud kept failing but couldn’t say it. “I’m really sorry,” Zack finally said, looking down. “About that…and the Turks…and wow, I’m a really crappy friend.”

“No, you’re not,” Cloud said, taking his hand and a deep breath. “We just live in a crap world with crap rules.”

Zack’s PHS beeped, and he took it out, looking defeated. “New mission this weekend,” he said defeatedly. “Something really short notice, monsters in a reactor or something. I gotta report to Sephiroth.”

Lost in thought, Cloud didn’t move from the spot he was standing for several minutes. And even then, it was only because his PHS went off with what sounded like the same message.

 _Well, that’s another crap problem to add to my list,_ Cloud thought, looking at the destination. _I can’t go home like this, on a mission, having never made SOLDIER. Everyone will laugh at me…more than they did before. At least I’ll get to see Mom._

He took a moment to put things in perspective. _And Zack will be with me…I hope we get some alone time together, more than a few minutes like last time. And working with General Sephiroth…that’s gonna be so cool. Maybe I’ll get to see him fight, for real and in person. That might make this worth it._

\---------------------------------

 _Be careful what you wish for,_ his mother had said when he saw her that weekend. _It might just come true, and what you think you want isn’t usually what you really want, and even then, it’s never what you need._

Cloud thought about her words over the next several years until they became a part of himself, a self-fulfilling prophecy he didn’t have the power to end.

 _Be careful what you wish for, Cloud._ They saw Sephiroth fight, an experience it was safe to say Cloud would never be rid of. If the scars were any indication. First he slew a dragon, then he battled with himself, and finally every poor sap Cloud had ever given two shits about fell under the unrelenting blade of Masamune. His mother, his old peers, Tifa’s father, Tifa, Zack. The fact that it was the good-for-nothing teenage infantry grunt who took him down in the end lost its credibility to time.

 _Be careful what you wish for, Cloud_. They got time alone, all right. Five years of it. In test tubes. At Hojo’s mercy. And thanks to whatever the fuck the bastard scientist did to them, Cloud didn't remember most of it. Not that he reminded losing the memories of the experiments…but Zack, he did miss. Especially once the mako took over, once he was free from the prison around his body but not the prison in his mind.

“What if I said I love you?” Zack would ask, every day without fail. “Would you wake up? I miss you so much…Cloud, I can’t do this without you.”

Oh, he wanted to wake up. He wanted to wake up so Zack would stop his suicidal trip to Midgar, and they could find the last corner of the earth that was out of Shinra’s reach and live there in peace. But the cold glow in his eyes, in his heart, and in his blood wouldn’t let him.

\---------------------------------

“I said I’d live both our lives…easy to make that promise,” Cloud said, years later and leagues stronger.

The Buster Sword glistened in the sunlight, and Cloud could almost see Zack’s reflection on the blade, looking back at him with the kindest eyes he’d ever known.

“What if I told you I can’t let go? That everyone’s waiting for me to get my shit together and move on with my life, but I can’t because all I want is to see you again?”

The only answer he got was silence, and Cloud steeled his heart and walked away. He couldn’t cry, not now. _I wish…I wish I had a second chance, a way to find him again and never let him go._

\---------------------------------

 _Be careful what you wish for, Cloud_. It wasn’t long after that when the Lifestream turned black and everything crumbled into dust, just as Bugenhagen had predicted all those years ago. It was a cruel twist of fate, that the world would keep him from his love even in death.

Except – Cloud woke up. In a different world, one where everything was a dichotomy of light and dark, and where everyone else seemed to be like him, looking for someone they loved, or someone they hated, or for a fight.

He found Vincent’s cape on his second day in this new world, and whether the old ex-Turk made it or not, he didn’t know. But he felt justified in wearing it, in carrying the legacies of more than one good man who gave more than he got.

At first, he looked for Zack. There were a few people who seemed to know where he might be, pointing him to a strange coliseum.

Cloud should’ve known it was too good to be true. The guy they were talking about turned out to be someone named Leon, someone who had also lost everything. But unlike Cloud, Leon was trying to start over, to build a new home. With puppies. So many puppies. Zack wasn’t one of them.

As it happened, Leon had found Yuffie and Aerith. Cloud was very happy to see both of them, especially since Aerith had gotten a second chance at life. But it wasn’t what he needed.

“Zack has a missing part of you, doesn’t he?” Aerith asked, twirling the hem of her new dress and looking down. “You’re still searching for him.”

Cloud nodded. There was an empty space inside of him…one that was tangible now, unlike back at home. A physical ache, a spiritual hunger. _Zack has that missing part of me_.

“I don’t know where he is, but I think Sephiroth might,” she mused. “What if you looked for him instead?”

_So Sephiroth made it here, too. Just my luck._

\---------------------------------

It felt like years went by before he got anywhere with his search.

Sephiroth was elusive, slipping through his hands like infuriating alien smoke every time he got close enough to ask. And history repeated itself enough times that Cloud became lost, distracted from his primary goal, chasing after Sephiroth without really knowing why. He cursed his mako-addled memory, its tendency to lose, to disregard what was most important.

“What if I stole this world’s life force like I did Gaia’s?” Sephiroth would say, swords clashing and wings flapping. “Mother isn’t here this time, but her _legacy_ is worth carrying on, wouldn’t you say?”

 _The only living legacy around here is me,_ Cloud would think, not gracing Sephiroth with a verbal answer. He couldn’t do anything to this world, anyway – someone else had already taken that job.

That someone used all of Sephiroth’s favorite tactics and more to rage conflict elsewhere, changing all of the world except Cloud’s little slice of it, the fruitless search and its byproducts of suffering.

Years passed, and a haze of apathy and depression left him without a clear purpose. He started avoiding mirrors – he wasn’t exactly keeping an eye on the clock anymore, but he knew he wasn’t aging as much as he should. By far – he still looked fresh as twenty-four, fighting for happiness in a world that took it away indiscriminately. If Cloud had to guess, he would say a few decades had passed with nothing changing. He didn’t want to think about that too much.

\---------------------------------

In the end, Cloud got to see two worlds end.

First, there was a wave of darkness, so massive and consuming that it ate everything in its path. Cloud’s form remained intact when it came, as though he were a part of it. Which, in a way, he was – the lightness in his heart had died long ago, on a barren field outside a forgotten city, and no amount of borrowed light could restore what was lost.

With the darkness came a rolling thunder and a crackling static that drowned out anything he could have heard through the void. A thunder that spoke of war, of fates. Cloud had heard it before, once, deep in Gaia’s belly while Meteor entered the atmosphere.

Whether that lasted minutes or weeks, Cloud didn’t know. But the thunder ceased and everything turned to light in the blink of an eye, and though the emptiness in his heart remained unchanged, Cloud got the feeling he was being sent home. Which didn’t make any sense – he hadn’t had a place to call home since Nibelheim, and there wasn’t a world left where it still existed.

\---------------------------------

Surprisingly, he woke up. Though maybe he shouldn’t have been surprised – what if surviving the end of one world ensured his survival of the next?

 _Don’t let the what-ifs hold you back,_ his mom had said during a far-away time. _Don’t let any fears of what lies ahead keep you from finding happiness. No matter where that search takes you._

Opening his eyes, Cloud sat up and felt about a million years younger. He was in Nibelheim, all right. The mansion, the houses, the well where he made that fateful promise so long ago – they were all there, all standing.

Except as he walked around, Cloud realized he was alone. There didn’t seem to be any people here at all. His old house was empty, the inn was empty. There’d only be ghosts in the mansion; he didn’t even bother going inside.

“Cloud!” a wonderfully familiar voice called, and he sighed as Tifa enveloped him in a warm hug.

“What happened with you?” he asked, hoping her story wasn’t too different from his. That he hadn’t dreamed his whole life away in his search for… _Zack_ , he remembered, the reasons he’d lived the way he had, searching and fighting and suffering, flowing back like a thousand tiny rivers.

“I was looking for Zack,” she started, and Cloud stepped back, incredulous.

 _I don’t remember asking for help…then again, there’s a hell of a lot of important things I don’t remember._ “What do you mean?”

“I’ll always be there to help you, Cloud, even if you don’t see me,” Tifa said, reaching up to ruffle his hair. _Just like he used to do, except you’re about a foot shorter_. “What if I told you I almost found him?”

“Almost?” _I could have lost my only chance in finding him by chasing after Sephiroth instead. I’m such a failure..._

“He was just over the horizon, just beyond the next hill…and the darkness hit,” Tifa continued. “It was like a wall, surrounding me on all sides. I couldn’t move.”

 _Of course you couldn’t move…it was darkness, and you’ve always had so much light that you could give some to others whenever they needed it_. “And then a burst of light, and you ended up here…”

“What if no one else made it back?” Tifa asked, her voice pure worry – not for themselves and the prospect of living in a world alone, but for the souls who didn’t make it.

“That can’t be right,” Cloud said. _Sora would’ve made sure as many people made it home as possible. The real question is…_ “It’s gotta be more than just you and me. But did the people who died in one world but lived in the other make it?”

There was no choice but to move forward, to search every corner of Gaia for more survivors. He and Tifa had been through worse before, and at least they knew where they were going this time. _Third time’s the charm…I won’t let myself fail this time, Zack. I’ll find you if it takes every particle of my being. I’ll see you again and I’ll make this right._

\---------------------------------

At least, they _thought_ they knew where they were going. The remains of Mideel were much farther west than they should have been, but on the positive side, there were other survivors living there.

“Darkness? The world ending? The last horrible disaster-type thing was the stigma. Are you sure you weren’t just dreaming?” the accessory merchant and part-time beautiful maid asked, throwing pebbles into the Lifestream, which glowed green. Like it had before everything. _Back to the start_.

“No way,” Cloud said, though he didn’t quite believe it. _“If everything’s a dream, don’t wake me.” …What if none of this ever happened? What if I’m still in the Shinra mansion, floating in mako and out of my goddamn mind?_

There was nothing for it but to continue on. The people of Mideel lent them a small boat, much more practical than the raft they’d been using before. Allowing them to chart the waters again, to find out just how much Gaia had changed.

They sailed north, for what they assumed would be the eastern continent and whatever was left of Edge. He and Tifa took turns piloting the boat and catching fish, and it reminded him of the old days on the Tiny Bronco. Except seven of their friends were missing.

If Mideel’s location was a footnote saying that their world had changed, the random island that appeared in the middle of the central ocean could have been the header.

“What is this place?” Tifa asked as they approached. “It’s got a harbor town and everything…”

“Yeah, this definitely isn’t Junon or Costa,” Cloud said, shaking his head. “But look – there are people waiting at the dock.”

They tied their rowboat to the unfamiliar dock, and a woman in a denim dress holding a deck of cards helped Tifa out of the boat _. That symbol on the cards…I’ve seen it before._

“Welcome to Balamb,” a woman in a denim jacket said as they tied to the dock. “Did you guys have a long journey here? You look bushed.”

Cloud nodded. “I don’t mean to sound rude, bur why is this island here? It’s not supposed to exist in this world…”

“This place isn’t supposed to exist? But the time compression…ah, I wouldn’t know anything about that, I just work here,” the woman said, brushing off her confusion. “But you can go talk to the Commander – he’s in the Garden. Just leave town and follow the path, you can’t miss it.”

“Radiant Garden?” _That’s the only Garden I've ever heard of._

The woman shook her head, perplexed. “I’ve never heard of that place,” she said. “This one’s Balamb Garden. The only other ones are in Galbadia and Trabia, as far as I know.”

 _Galbadia? Trabia?_ Cloud had walked every corner of Gaia in the earlier part of his life, and he’d never heard of that place. One look at Tifa told him her thoughts were much the same.

Cloud wanted to head straight there, but Tifa wanted to take a few hours to explore the town before they went to see this mysterious Commander. He owed her so much – he couldn’t refuse such a simple request. Balamb had a train station that no longer seemed to go anywhere, a weapon remodeling shop (Cloud found the whole concept ridiculous, but Tifa was intrigued), and a hotel with a stack of _Timber Maniacs_ magazines just sitting in the lobby.

“Laguna Loire? Who’s that?” Cloud asked, reading one of the articles. _He sounds pretty cool, traveling all over without a care in the world. Even if I’ve never heard of any of these places. But I suppose he probably had something driving him that he just didn’t write about…everyone does._

“Oh, that’s Squall’s dad,” a random guy asked through what looked like a mouthful of hot dogs. “Don’t tell him I said that, though. He’ll get even grumpier than usual.”

Cloud felt a flare of irritation, and Tifa stepped forward to give him room to breathe. “Look, we’re not from around here,” she said. “We really don’t know anything about who this Squall is, or what the Garden is, or anything like that.”

“You don’t know Squall?!? Damn, you must be from _really_ far out,” the guy said. “He’s the Commander of SeeD. Good guy. He’ll help you out, if you can get him to give you the time of day.”

“This Commander sounds like you,” Tifa said into his ear, amused smile on her face.

Cloud frowned a the comparison _. I’m not…I’ll give people the time of day, if they ask. They just don’t, usually. Not my problem._

“You know what? How about I go with you,” the guy said, wrapping what was left of his hot dog in tinfoil and putting it in his pocket. “Squall knows me, it’s cool. I’m Zell, by the way.”

The walk to Balamb Garden took a matter of minutes. They ran into a few unfriendly flies on the way there, which both empty-hand fighters punched right out of the sky.

“Carrying that huge sword on your back and you’re not even _using_ it,” Zell remarked, rubbing the dust off his gloves.

“You aren’t even giving me a chance…let’s just go.”

“Man, you just went full Squall right there. This is gonna be good,” Zell said.

Cloud wanted to explore, to take a look around as they entered the Garden. He couldn’t tell if it was a school or a military complex – it was intruiging. Zell wouldn’t let them look around, though.

“We can’t let civilians roam the place without permission,” he offered by way of explanation.

“Kid, I’m about as far from civilian as you can get,” Cloud said, trying very hard not to be too irritated with this guy he barely knew.

“Really? You don’t look old enough to be in any non-SeeD forces…how old are you, anyway?”

He looked at Tifa, at a loss. _Honestly? I have no idea._ “Twenty-four?” he offered. That’s how old he was when the world ended the first time…it felt right, anyway.

Zell took them two stories up an elevator, glass doors allowing them to look over the impressive concourse, until it came to a stop in a rather formal-looking office.

“It looks a bit different than it did a few months ago…we settled back down sometime after the time compression and things are still disorganized,” Zell said, gesturing for them to wait while he went inside.

Tifa didn’t say anything while they waited, combing through her hair. Cloud’s eyes were drawn to what looked like a really weird sword in the back of the room, sitting by a black case. He turned the blade in his hands, wondering why this felt so familiar, when it fell into place. “This is a gunblade…”

“A what?”

“A gunblade,” Cloud said, looking at the symbol engraved on it, and the matching on on the case. _Is that…?_ “No way…”

The door opened and a confused-looking Zell emerged. “You guys can go in now...Cloud? Strange name.”

They entered the open-ceilinged office and sure enough, this Squall had a face he knew, though it looked about a decade younger than when he last saw it. “Leon?”

\---------------------------------

Leon, whose name was apparently Squall this whole time, had a lot of friends and a lot of power for a guy who was a self-proclaimed loner. _Like a lion and his pride,_ Cloud thought on multiple occasions over the next several weeks.

It didn’t take much discussion for him, Squall, and Tifa to reach a consensus that their original worlds had been merged together, and that their first objective should be to map everything out. Which was a lot easier than before, since the Garden was a big moving fortress.

Tifa spent most of her time getting to know the students at Garden, gauging the degree to which their timelines differed. It seemed like they had no idea what had happened – with the hearts, or the darkness, or anything – and it was just the people who had been in _two_ worlds who remembered.

Meanwhile, Cloud accompanied Squall (who he kept accidentally referring to as Leon, to the general confusion of the Balamb students) and a girl named Selphie to whatever settlements they could find, to pick up any survivors who could remember what happened.

“Why do you bring her along?” Cloud asked during a more private moment.

“She’s good with explosives,” Squall answered. That made sense. _She says “blow it to smithereens” an awful lot for someone who looks so cheery_.

The three of them flew, walked, and blew shit up for such a distance that it became clear the new world was much larger than any of their old ones. Large enough for dozens of towns. Maybe large enough for all of their lost friends.

“Why is he helping us?” Tifa asked, weeks after they found the Garden. “You’d think he’d want to take care of his own people…”

“Leon – er, Squall – we fought together a few times, back in the day,” Cloud said. “And…I think he’s looking for someone, too, though he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.”

Ten minutes with a cowboy-looking guy Tifa had befriended gave them the answers they wanted. _Rinoa. His old girlfriend…well, I guess we’re even more similar than I thought. I hope he finds her…gods, I know how hard it is. To be separated from the person you love most..._

Squall flew the Garden east, over a great ocean. They found a single survivor of both worlds floating amongst the ruins of some city – the guy said his name was Tidus, and that he remembered the end of the world (both times, which added to his credibility in Cloud’s opinion).

And he was good with a blade, but he had an annoying tendency to pry into everyone’s personal business on top of an absolutely ridiculous laugh. So Squall stuck him on a committee with Zell and promised him food, and everyone was happy.

As time wore on, Balamb Garden became the home of many more people looking for lost loved ones. A girl with pink hair, Serah, who was looking for her sister. A different girl in a white headband and yellow jumpsuit, who said she was a former general and just searching for friends. Celes, she called herself, and after a reasonable demonstration of skill, she joined Cloud and Squall in the usual lineup.

They got boarded by a ragtag group of pirates sometime during the third month. Faris, Fran, and Balthier quickly realized they were all trying to do the same thing and joined forces, lending their provisions and a much-needed experience with the local terrain.

“Towns? Yeah, there’s one south of here,” Balthier said over hot dogs (Cloud was getting rather sick of them, but the students at Garden barely seemed to eat anything else). “Bunch of train tracks around it, but some rotting hunk of metal is blocking the way. Huge, too. There’s another town on the far side of it.”

“Timber?” Squall asked, just as Cloud thought _Edge_.

That turned out to be a pretty good day – a friendly brown dog greeted Squall as soon as they entered town, and they followed it to the hotel, where a girl in a blue jacket was reading a magazine.

“Squall!” she shouted, flying into his arms, and the long and tearful reunion that followed was enough to make Celes leave, eyes downcast. Cloud followed.

“Locke,” she said, looking down. “I said I was just looking for friends, but…he’s the one I’m really looking for. …Please don’t think less of me for this.”

“I don’t,” Cloud said honestly. “There’s a friend of mine…well, more than a friend. If I’m being honest, I love him more than anything…his name is Zack, and I’ve been looking for him for a long time.”

Celes looked out towards the sea and pulled her hair back in a low ponytail. “I know it’s a slim chance, but we could go check out those ruins on the train tracks? I saw you eyeing them earlier,” she offered.

Miraculously, the old church was still standing, and inside was none other than Aerith, tending to her flowers like nothing had changed. _If she made it back after dying the first time, maybe Zack did, too…_

“Cloud, I’ve been waiting,” she said, running to give him a warm hug. “How did you get here?”

“Hitched a ride with Leon,” he answered, looking with reverence at the garden she’d already managed to create. “Turns out he’s a commander and everything. And he got way younger.” Despite everything, Cloud couldn’t help but laugh. If Aerith was here, there was hope. There was always hope with her.

She shook her head, giggling. “You guys really don’t know how it works, do you?”

Aerith explained that, in its generosity, Gaia made room for the other worlds that were a part of their universe when the light sent everything back. Everyone went home, to wherever they had started from – which meant the church for her, Nibelheim for Cloud and Tifa, and Balamb for Squall, who had been younger than the rest of them during the first switch.

This also gave them some direction – Zack would, in all likelihood, be somewhere near Gongaga. The only problem was that they had no clue where it was now. _It’s a good thing we’ve got reliable transportation, then._

\---------------------------------

For all the world, Gongaga seemed to have been erased from existence.

Locke was found in between some mountains in a town called Kohlingen. Serah’s sister just showed up one day, sporting a gunblade and a no-nonsense attitude to match Squall’s. Tidus found his friends on a small island north of where Rocket Town was supposed to be. Cloud, Tifa, Aerith…they found the rest of AVALANCHE in their hometowns, every one of them glad but surprised to see Aerith alive and well.

And there were others, so many others. But no Gongaga.

“We’ve mapped the whole globe,” Tifa said from the cockpit of the ship. “There’s nowhere left we can look.”

There was a long silence, an acknowledgement that to give up now would be worse than never having tried at all. “…That’s not totally true,” Squall admitted hesitantly, looking out at the desert before them. “Nida, remember that invisible barrier we ran into last month?”

“Yes, sir. We almost crashed the Garden,” the pilot said, looking anxious. “You don’t want…?”

“No, I know how to get in,” Squall said, sliding on his gloves. “We’re going to see my dad.”

\---------------------------------

“Heeeyy, Squall!” the president said, looking far less professional than any president Cloud had ever met, in a half-buttoned shirt and low ponytail. _He dresses like Reno...where’d he and Rufus end up, anyway?_

“I need a favor,” his friend said curtly.

“What, you didn’t come all this way for a game of cards? Hold on a sec, let me introduce myself to the newbie,” the president said, shaking Cloud’s hand. “Laguna Loire, president of Esthar.”

“You’re the guy who wrote in all those magazines,” Cloud observed.

“Wow, someone who knows my work!” Laguna said, clapping him on the back. “What do you need, uh…?”

“Cloud.”

“Cloud! Anything, really. We’ve got a lot we’re trying to do here, especially with that huge dimension shift or whatever, but I’ll always help a friend of my son’s.”

He told them about Gongaga, that it was a jungle town that didn’t seem to exist anymore, how someone very important to him was there. _Zack has to be there. It’s the only place we haven’t checked._

Laguna rubbed the back of his neck in an achingly familiar gesture. “Um…have you checked the moon?”

Squall facepalmed, and Cloud was at a loss for words. _The…the moon?_ “What?”

“You know, that big rock in the sky. Our telescopes found some towns up there,” Laguna said, as if that was supposed to make any sense. “Real towns, with people and everything!”

“Laguna, people don’t just _live on the moon_ , it’s inhospitable,” Squall said, crossing his arms.

“Well they do now!” Laguna said, cheerful as ever. “Man, I miss being in space. Let’s fire up the Ragnarok and get going!”

“You okay with going into space?” Squall asked after his father had left the room.

“Already been there,” Cloud said. “It’s not all that.” _But I’ll spend the rest of my life floating through the atmosphere if it means I get to see Zack again_.

\---------------------------------

Gongaga had ended up in a crater on the southern hemisphere of the moon.

“Spacesuits, everyone!” Laguna said, pulling his out of a locker. “Don’t want anyone suffocating out there.”

“I definitely see people just walking around,” Cloud said, looking out one of the windows. “I don’t think we need those.”

“Whatever you say, José!”

Squall, who had decided to come despite his obvious annoyance with his father, shook his head in disbelief. _I bet if I asked, he’d say he didn’t trust him_. “It’s _no way_ , José.”

“Whatever. You ready to find your man, Cloud?”

 _My man? Since when did everyone know it was like that_ …Cloud felt his heart hammer in his chest and forced it to stop, easy after a lifetime of practice. _I can’t get my hopes up. Just because Aerith made it, and Rinoa, and the others…no, I have to believe it. I have to trust that he’s here, that I’ll find him and everything will be alright._

“Excuse me, is the Fair family still living here?” Cloud asked the first villager he saw.

“Cloud Strife? Wild seeing you all the way out here,” the guy said. “Yeah, they’re here. Same house as always.”

Two minutes later, he was knocking on their door, palms sweating rivers. “Yes?” Mrs. Fair said as she opened the window. _She sounds happy. That’s a good sign_.

“I’m looking for Zack,” Cloud said, cutting straight to the core.

“Oh, you just missed him,” she said, smile diminishing somewhat. “He just got home, too…we’ve been waiting for him to come back a long time, you know.”

 _Believe me, I know_. “Where did he go?”

“There’s a big crystal castle over the horizon that a-way,” she said, pointing beyond what was previously a ruined mako reactor. “There seem to be some pretty advanced people there, ha, if the _architecture_ is anything to go by, and Zack wanted to find a way to the mainland to look for someone…a friend, he didn’t say who. Could that be you, young man?”

 _Ha, young man. I never even stopped to think if he was looking for me, too…have we been running in circles this whole time? Missing everything, when all I had to do was stop and wait? “_ I think it might be, ma’am,” he said quietly. “I’ll catch him before he goes.”

“Alright. And…good luck, Cloud,” Mrs. Fair said, closing the door with a wink.

“She remembered my name. It’s been years and she remembered my name,” Cloud said, and Squall started walking north while Laguna patted him on the back.

\---------------------------------

 _Don’t let the what-ifs hold you back_ , his mom had written once. _Don’t let any fears of what lies ahead keep you from finding happiness. No matter where that search takes you._

Well, the search had taken him pretty far: _Lunar Passage – Crystal Palace_

The plaque was made of starry black stone – part of a meteorite, in all likelihood. If the people of the moon were really advanced enough to control the power of Meteor, Zack had done the best job he could finding a way back to Cloud. Except it was no longer necessary. _He’s just up here, I can feel it. Ha, it’s like Aerith said…I’m coming back now that it’s all over. Back to him, back to the start._

“I’m going alone,” Cloud said, looking into the crystal passage.

“You sure you can handle whatever’s in there?” Squall asked. Cloud appreciated his concern, he always had, but if there was ever a path he needed to walk alone, this was it.

“You know I can,” Cloud said, putting the pieces of First Tsurugi together. _It’s not like there’ll be hordes of Heartless inside._ “I just want…”

“You want it to be just the two of you,” Laguna finished, looking strangely pensive, for him. _He never did say what it was that drove him all the way to Esthar. Well, I’ll hear it eventually…I’ve got plenty of time._

Cloud just nodded, heading in.

The walls were pure crystal, shining his reflection back at him from a thousand different angles. _A sky full of Clouds…ha._ He found traces of other travelers as he went...a lance here, a green cloak there. Nothing he recognized as Zack’s. The place positively radiated calm, soothing his nerves and quieting his heart as he moved forward.

He found two shoulder pauldrons on the ground, the kind that would have been right at home on Zack’s SOLDIER uniform. _I almost can’t believe it. He’s really here, or at least has been here, he could be right around the corner._ And then there was a symphony in his ears, a voice he’d waited what was probably decades to hear again.

“I can’t just go in there and talk to a bunch of aliens! But…damn, I don’t really have a choice, do I? It’s either ask them for help and get a tiny chance, or stay here and never see him again. Wait, are aliens gonna understand the concept of a guy having feelings for another guy? I guess I could always play it off like it isn’t like that…”

Cloud took a deep breath and stepped around the corner, being careful not to scare his best friend, his soulmate, who was standing _right there_ with his back turned to him, feeling anxious and conflicted when there was no longer any need to.

“I’m never gonna see him again,” Zack said, slouching towards the ground. That’s what did it – Cloud’s cool flew out the metaphorical window, and he felt tears welling up in his eyes. It was time.

“What if I told you you’re wrong?” Cloud said, and the look on Zack’s face when he turned around was worth all the years it had taken to find him.

Zack bridged the distance between them in two impatient strides and wrapped him up in the tightest embrace Cloud had felt in years. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I can’t believe it’s you, Spike,” Zack said into his hair, shaking with emotions. “You’ve changed…you’re taller, you know that?”

“A lot happened,” Cloud said, hugging him back just as tightly. “I never stopped looking for you…I forgot a few times, but I never stopped looking.”

Zack laughed through his joyful tears. “Well, here I am,” he said, stepping back to take a good look at Cloud. “You look like you just walked out of hell.”

“I could say the same to you,” Cloud said, smiling wider than he probably ever had. “Considering you died a couple times, I think you look pretty great.”

Looking down, Zack bit his lip and closed his eyes. “So I disappear for an age and a half and leave you to save the world alone, and you still want me back? I must be dreaming.”

Cloud shook his head and took Zack’s hands in his. “Are you kidding? I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“So…what if I said I really wanted to kiss you right now?” Zack asked, eyes hopeful, just like the very first time.

Part of Cloud really wanted to say _right now, really? While we’re standing on an alien road on the moon and the president of the largest intact government is hanging out with your parents? While the rest of my family is waiting for us to come back?_ The other part just wanted to shut up and go for it. The other part won in a landslide.

Despite everything, Zack’s lips felt just as they always had, consistent with everything that was left of his memories, and that was how he knew this was real.

“I think you got better at kissing while I was away,” Zack said, smiling against his mouth with their foreheads pressed together. “Were you practicing?”

“I think you’ve just been waiting too long for it, puppy,” Cloud said, stepping back as he entwined their fingers. It felt so good, so right, and there was nothing better than the knowledge that nothing was going to stop their relationship this time.

Zack followed behind, the sound of his footsteps comforting after so many miles walked alone. “Hey, where are we going? And…how’d you even get here? I heard something about being on the moon? Where’s Aerith?”

Cloud turned around and laid another kiss on his boyfriend, who responded eagerly. “I have a spaceship.”

“Okay, that answers exactly none of my questions. What kind of guy reunites with his significant other and explains things by saying I _have a spaceship?”_

“The kind who needed to go into space to find him,” Cloud said, enjoying the easy banter between them. “You know, it took ages for me to figure out where Gongaga went.” _I would’ve gone anywhere – through time, across the universe, all of it._

“What if I told you I’m kind of terrified by the idea space travel?” Zack asked, looking very, very serious.

Cloud laughed. “Good thing you have your awesome travel veteran boyfriend with you, then. I’ll hold your hand until it’s over.”

Zack snickered. “Will you kiss me after that?”

“I’ll kiss you right now if you stop asking questions long enough to let me,” Cloud said.

Needless to say, it was quite a while before they made it back to the others. But it was time well spent, and Cloud had waited long enough. Their friends could take a turn.

**Author's Note:**

> Ahahha what even was that? I still don't know.
> 
> I'd like to say that tomorrow's story is less weird, but I'd be lying. It's a songfic. Because I figured everyone else would do genderswap, and the other theme was lyrics. ~~It's 2016, what am I doing with my life~~


End file.
